CO Studios at Etsy


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Corset-type stitch pattern

I was looking for a pattern to make on the front of my  new cutsew design. This is a new knitted shirt pattern, raglan, that I am trying to design, as an alternative to sewing or buying a lolita blouse.

I wanted the traditional corset-lacing type front, but I don't know how to do advanced cables, nor could I find anything that looked easy enough.
I want this shirt design to be for the intermediate knitter, or advanced beginner. It will involve increases, decreases, knitting, purling, YOs, shaping, and putting stitches on holders.

Anyway, this is the stitch pattern. Its pretty much standard, but depending on the size you make, you will customize this basic stitch pattern for your bust diameter.

I'm considering adding ties to the back.

I anticipate this shirt will look adorable.

Another Maya 3d Rant

I was writing these notes in response to  what some 'experts' said on the topic of switching from Maya to a new program. The thread devolved into arguing how good maya is, (or not good). I don't enjoy that they couldn't stick to the topic at hand. But the point remains.
I dunno. I just want to create some pretty pictures, not delve into technical aspects. I will look into the architecture of the program when I feel I am ready.


The point is, if you're spending $3000 dollars on a piece of software, the team should invest some more time in fixing bugs, not releasing a new version with the same bugs.
The point is, you use a program for ease of use in addition to being powerful. You shouldn't have to spend hours with tutorials in order to do one effect. You shouldn't
Maya should meet you partway  with their tools, making them understandable to use, and relatively bug free. Maya has achieved this somewhat, but in many ways it doesn't.
There's a button in maya that crashes the program when you press it. You will be in object mode and click on an icon, I forget which, and the program crashes. I call this bugginess, and it shouldn't be that way. Maya crashed on me twice, in the same day, and a total of 3x in the same week. Blender crashed a few months ago for me.
All I was doing was modelling.

Albeit, I could read the documentation, but its written at such a high level as to be inaccessible in general, and confusing when you sit to decipher it.

Similarly, I have read Blender documentation, making more sense when doing basic tasks.

I am an undergrad student taking one animation class. Why do I have to delve deeply into the architecture of the program to be able to model and put a few textures on? Why do I get a fatal error when trying to extrude something? Move some vertices on a low poly model? Why do I need a tech support team in order to figure out what is happening in these errors and glitches? I have project deadlines to meet, (and a good grade to try and get), I just want to get a simple model up and running. It takes the technician several days to fix any complex problems we have with the software.

My biggest problem with maya is that its extremely clunky and slow, both on my laptop and the animation lab computers. One has to go through the menus instead of using hotkeys much of the time, say if you were to slide a set of edges down the mesh.

The compatibility from version to version isn't great. I was so frustrated that I couldn't open a simple modeled and textured image that my teammate had made. Turned out I was using 2011 and they were using 2012, and so the model wouldn't open in my version, had to transfer my file to the school computer.

Why should I have to delve deeply into Euler's method of approximation to find the length of a curve, and how Maple or Latex uses it, if I want to quickly estimate a curve? It is similar to this.

Instead of trying to sell a new product every year,k focus should be made on fixing these issues rather than adding new shiny features. People are paying a great deal for a powerful program. Lots of bugs and uneasy workflow takes away from that power. Having 1 million working features doesn't detract from 5 nonworking features, especially if those 5 are crucial.

To some extent, people that work with 3d programs are techincal artists.  But really, does a 10th grader look at 3d animation and say: "Ooh I want to spend the day debugging a 3d program rather than creating beautiful 3d images!"?


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Holiday Rush

Also, I am using this pattern from ravelry. It is the only one for crocheted worsted weight golf club covers! Well I shall have to change that. When I have more time.
Also, Red Heart Super Saver yarn is so ROUGH. I have vowed to myself not to be taken in for the price ($2.19-$2.50) and buy it. I can buy softer yarn, with slightly less yardage, for slightly more money. Why?

  • This yarn bruises my tensioning fingers
  • Its so rough and unpleasant, like straw, even on my feet for slippers. Thus, you cannot use it for cushions/pillows, slipper socks, hats, scarves, necklaces, wrist warmers, mittens...
  • It pills after a while
  • It doesn't keep heat when you make it into cold weather items, and it doesn't breathe at all for spring/fall items
  • When washed and dried, it might soften up, or it might turn to straw.
  • When doubled up, it gets really stiff.
  • Garments made with the yarn lose their elasticity.

I will not buy Red Heart SS yarn, at least until I use up the ones I have. I will also purchase softer yarn, like caron simply soft, or bernat super value cotton yarn, or lionbrand ANYTHING.
Its only good for toys and things you won't touch directly. Red Heart's other yarns are ok, such as its Soft brand yarn, and its cotton. I'm frustrated that my local shops, all they have are the rough SS yarn. Its a pity because there are so many beautiful shades. I love the sage and thyme colors, so beautiful. But I made legwarmers out of the sage, and they're rough and they sag and turn baggy by the middle of the day....


I've been knitting like crazy over the past week. Trying to finish two pairs of socks and miscellaneous crocheted necklaces for my family. We're short on money but what I"m not short on is yarn, hooks and needles. And beads. Basically crafting items. x_X
hahahah.... yeah.

Wool socks for charles.
Fingering weight socks for mother, utilizing the chiffon pattern from Ravelry, misc beaded jewelry
Irish Crochet brooch pin for aunt, misc beaded jewelry
beaded jewelry set for sister
crocheted golf club covers for james, and misc items.

Oooh, holiday rush. I will finish posting when I'm not so busy! As in, after the 25th probably.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

rudiments of a new sock design

So I'm working on a new sock design for my sister's boyfriend. I just don't like the several hundred different sock patterns I have on my Ravelry waiting list. =P

If these are successful, I will post my pattern on ravelry. 

Most of them are fingering weight. I don't have the luxury of using sockweight yarn.

I'm using a yarn called shepard's classic, 100% worsted weight wool yarn. Using size 4 needles.
He has thick calves, so I must work within those parameters. Last year, I miscalculated and made socks.... for his 6 and 10 year old kids. Ugh! Not like it wasn't good they got nice socks though. I just wish that they had fit his feet.

These are the same needles I used last year. But I've gotten wise. Instead of 48 stitches, I"m casting on 64!, the size I usually cast on with size 1 or 2 needles.

Knit the first row.
I rib for half an inch,so the socks stay up.
I wanted some visual interest,but I'm also a lazy knitter, so I did a cable rib, so every other set of even stitches on the row, there's a k2, and every other set of 6 knit stitches, there's a cable.
I can illustrate what i mean when i finish the cuff.
These are going to be simple top down socks, with a gusset heel, since I haven't done heel flaps in a while. I don't want to forget! Plus, I want to try the reinforced heel.

I think I might continue the cable rib pattern down the top of the foot. The toe is going to be a regular square toe, with the kitchener stitch. But that will be some time off, since he has really big feet.

I really want to finish in time for christmas. Cheer for me?


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving break 1 and minecraft

Yaaay finally get a break from school. Its just so rough, constantly doing the work. But after this, we will be off and running to finish works, as finals and final projects are due after this.

Family will be family, also. :/
Still knittin. I have christmas presents to finish up.
Several socks to finish, shawl pins, and golf club covers.

So there's this fairly popular game called minecraft.  By Notch and Mojang.
I have some world generator seeds to share.

I am not sure if this is a good method of finding seeds. But its kinda fun. I'm using to find random seeds between 1 and 100 000 000.

2459939 - Iron nearby, lots of above ground coal, you spawn in a forest at the edge of a desert with plenty of cacti. Lots of tall grass with which to obtain seeds. Plenty of animals spawn near you. The problem is, there's a few shallow ravines.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Abstract Castle Ramparts

This is what it looks like to me. I didn't know what else to call it, so here it is.

I was doodling in class, and I came up with several ideas for more different types of geometric patterns, as I love geometric patterns. Anyway, here it is. The yellow part is
the part that repeats.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Crown Chart (knitting or crochet)

I want to start designing patterns for Ravelry and such. I've created this crown chart, and I want to share it.

This chart/afghan block can be knit with any size needles and any yarn, and near any gauge. I wouldn't suggest a very loose gauge, because then the pattern can't be seen.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Things I learned about Illustrator and Blender

I still don't like Illustrator. However, I have to use it and I will have to get used to it.

In Windows, if you hit alt+lmb on a layer, it selects all objects on that layer. I've been having a lot of trouble with that. I couldn't select things easily, until I learned this trick. On Mac, you must press command and use left click.

I suppose I haven't learned all that many new things in Blender. I am using version 2.5. Vers. 2.6 is soon to come. I feel that, since I'm more of a 2d artist, that those features should be improved. I have ideas that will fix the interfaces for the painting menus, so it is more akin to a 2d painting software, and looks less makeshift. All in my free time, that is.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Blender and Rigging

I did something so awful for my project in Animation 2. Well, by awful I mean my rig wouldn't weight paint correctly. So frustrated about that.

Blender forums did help. Moreso than other forums.

Why Am I using blender? I made a mistake earlier on, by modeling and UV texturing in blender, so it wouldn't transfer over to Maya. Maya is the program that my class is using. I prefer blender because its more clear for modeling at least. I feel maya is easier for Animation.

Both are frustrating me in regards to rigging, however.

I just learned something merciful. Blender has a script that makes a plain biped rig, clean and general. I just learned that a few moments ago. I can't believe it. What a great idea. I hope that a quadruped could be made. I think I would contribute that.

It is called rigify, and you go to user preferences, and check the box to add it. In the regular blender screen, you can go into the menu by pressing shift+a, and choose armature. From there, you will see the script. Pretty nifty, huh?

Anyway.... I'm not going to be sleeping tonight because this project is due tomorrow, the final animation. Ugh.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Animating Character for Animation 2

I have yet another character project to work on. This time it is for class.

I got stuck doing it in Blender, foolishly, because Maya can't figure out how to import an unwrapped object correctly. Seriously, it butchered my UVs. Everyone else in the class is using Maya. Ugh. As long as I get a finished object that moves as I want it to....
The problem is, Blender is great for 3d modelling and animation, but Maya has some professional tools, and leagues more documentation.

So now I have to finish the animation in Blender, yeah.

.... I guess I can tell things I found useful lately.
If I don't find a tutorial on how to rig and skin it, I suppose I shall have to make my own tutorial. I've always wanted to make blender or gimp tutorials.

How to 'Hide' the mesh while making the armature:

This is the tutorial I am using so far.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Thoughts about yarn.

There is a certain camaraderie knowing that another knitter used the same yarn to make their different project. It is very interesting to see what a yarn can do, and the possibilities to be had with it.

It almost motivates you to do a similar project with that same yarn.
I search through the project pages on Ravelry to find interesting designs and inspirations for any of my artistic projects.
I hope that one day I will have time for a knit a long or a crochet a long.

I also wish I could find my camera... because I just got a major haul of yarn from the thrift store. I love the thrift store for finding yarn. Its got its own element of excitement when you find something that would have been 6 dollars for .99c.

Today I found:
3 balls of crochet thread, size 10, blue, pink, and cream, for 99c each
6 skeins of  3 oz worsted cotton yarn from Caron, some discontinued brand.
Size 13 bamboo Clover knitting needles
Size 15 plastic bates knitting needles.

In addition, I got three college ruled notebooks that I needed for class. I think they were 99c each.
Its cool because this thrift store is usually really expensive.

I always think to myself in the thrift store: Why would a yarnie destash their stuff to the thrift store?? You can sell that stuff for more than 5 dollars a skein online! But, their loss. Oh well. xD
Unless, god forbid, I lost the use of my hands and toes, I would never get rid of my yarn. There are so many projects that need to be knit and crocheted. I have over 1900 projects that I could make on Ravelry.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Game making

People tend to think the games industry is all fun and games because we make, market, live and breathe games.
People tend to trivialize it as if it were so easy.
That is quite wrong.

Yes, its not rocket science or heart surgery. But its not just playing video games all day and shoving nachos into your face.

It is intense. Really intense. Lots of deadlines, make or break it days, weeks, and months. If you've ever looked at the code behind a simple game or app, you can see the hundreds of hours put into it.
If you could look at the size of the .psds or .mbs or animations or video files, you could see the hundreds of painstaking hours.

It irritates me when people trivialize the industry like its a waste of time... one could call stocks and betting on futures a waste of time.

BTW I'm on a deadline for our new game. x_X
To try and get some interest in our app Bloop, here's an early character drafts.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Creepy old men

"Dear Creepy old men.

You are old enough to be my father. Or my grandfather. Please stop hitting on me kthanks."

... I would like to stop and say hello to random people on the street like a nice person. But then they ask me my name. And what I am doing later. Old guy asked me why I was smiling one day. I thought he was being nice. Today he also asked me why I was smiling, and asked me my name. I kept walking. He shouted out for me to wait, and said he couldn't hear my name.
You are the reason why I carry hot coffee with me.
*Scalding coffee to the face!!*
But yeah. I'm just not going to walk on that street again for a few days.

Why also is the first thing that lots of guys ask me: "Do you like older guys?" or "Do you like white guys?" And dirtier things. Online and offline.

You know what? I don't like sketchy guys. And you're looking pretty darn sketchy ATM. I watch enough Law and Order SVU to know where this is going.
And that is why some women carry taser. Hah. Johnny Bravo cartoon is awesome. Every woman in that cartoon has a taser with his name on it.

I guess I don't look intimidating enough. Maybe I need to walk around looking deranged? Like I'm going to shank the next person who looks at me wrong?
Women in my family look like they can pull ox carts. I think that's the only thing that's keeping that actual crazy 1/50 guys from actually bothering me further. I feel if I was more petite and slender, perhaps the 90lb type, creepies would get closer.


I wish I had my big strong bodyguard here.
Escort around town horray!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Silly Rabbit

Remember kids: Crazy is contagious and temporary. Stupid is painful and forever.


In other news.... school started up again! And I am still working! And I am cooking my own meals! It's gonna be a tough semester.
I trying.

At least I got my lolita dresses back...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Just Notes

Greek yogurt is awesome. So creamy!!

I was listening to an NPR story about the rise of greek yogurt in stores over american yogurt. Greek yogurt is superior! Creamy and filling were phrases they used in the story. So true. The american yogurt is so watery and tart and pungent at times.

Its so fattening though!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Codename: Save

So I am working on this mini platformer game independently. I was thinking it was going to be in 2d, done with Gamemaker 8, but since I've been looking at Unity, I don't know anymore. As long as you can 3d model and know the basics of game creation, you can make some pretty sexy things in Unity.

Unity generally makes 3d games, but it can also make 2d games. If I were to make my game in 3d, I could make it a 3d sideview platformer, but that would require me to make many 3d models and textures. I could do it, but I'm working also, and school is going to start in a few weeks as well. 2d assets are more portable. All I have to do is take my tablet and sketch some things in between classes. 3d models require a mouse, a place to put this mouse, a place for my computer to sit so it can process the things it needs to process, etc. this goes especially if I wanted to render an animation to check on it.

The name of this project for now will be Save. I don't want to release too many details right now. I don't even know what the main character will look like.

So far, I have sketched monsters. If everything goes down the toilet, at least I may be able to use them for a different game. I'm not trying to create something cutting edge, I'm basically just experimenting. This idea has been floating around my head for about a year. I can't do it for a class project, because if I do it by myself, it will take more than two months.

Most likely I will be doing this by myself. If all goes well, I can put it on a platform. I originally envisioned it to be a computer game, because I just love computer games, due to the fact that they are quite portable. It'll of course be a free game.

I need to make up a game document for it for that matter. I've been working somewhat on it. I have the basic gist of the game in my head. I am modeling one of the monsters at  the moment, because right now I don't have much work to do on the Patriots game Deadmans just came out with.

On another note, I WILL make a dressup game if it KILLS me. Flash has been a jerk to me. What is it with Adobe products and ruining my ideas? For some reason, it wouldn't let me use the drag and drop script. Maybe I can do something with the onmouseclick function, to transfer the clothing directly to the doll, like some dressup games are. I just.... want to have something to play with. A game I can play with with my own characters.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

After a while....

Was having trouble getting back to the blog. Can't think of things to write. Rather, I am having too many ideas and not enough attention span. I guess I can write about them all. Sort of.

  • I am subscribed to the japanese Gothic and Lolita Bible. This issue is vol 40, summer edition. It appears to be a steam lolita and pirate lolita issue. The featured brands are Innocent World and Victorian Maiden, which are classic lolita brands. I'm a classic lolita so that is great. Unfortunately, some of the brands have released some shiny costumy stuff. That's not as good. And it seems across the board that there are some ita items. So there are some good and bad stuff in this issue.
  • I'm back home for the week, until sunday-ish. I prefer being home. It seems there is less pressure on me for stuff. The problem is, I'm so lazy! I can't bring myself to do much other than sleep, game, knit, or crochet. Poor puppy! 
  • I wanted to make a post on plarn, plastic yarn, and introduce it to a wider audience. I want to. Its a large topic, but its part of the eco movement amongst knitters and crocheters
  • I still don't have a sewing machine, but the good news is, I'm closer to getting back to school, and I don't have a room mate! I'm tired of having room mates, to be honest, but it can get somewhat lonely. My meaning is, I would probably be able to use my sewing machine late into the night! Which is good because I found some old fabric that can be turned into dresses and or skirts! I wish I could find batteries for my camera. They're basically cotton polyester sheets, but whatevs. At least they're mine, and I know they're clean.
  • I hit the jackpot with knitting items at the thriftstore. The thrift stores in my area (western ma) seem to be selling lots of crochet and knitting supplies, as well as cheap yarn. The problem is, if I'm going to go to a thrift store and buy some yarn, I want for it to at least be NOT acrylic, or wool preferably. I'm going there to get a discount, not pay slightly more for it.
  • Unfortunately, I can't go to Webs while I'm at home. Mother is getting married at the end of the week so I have to take the bus home. Its not an immensely big deal, because they've been together for several years and I already figured he was my stepfather. He certainly lived like it for several years. They're not having a big wedding, no new dress, no expensive rings, quick ceremony, no cake. The worst thing is NO CAKE!
  • The english gothic and lolita bible did a small issue on weddings. Most of it was traditional and girly, nothing out of the ordinary with only a few innovative designs. I want to create a wedding design spread (on paper). Just for fun, to see what kind of fanciful designs I come up with.

Those are some of the things that were floating about in my head. Perhaps I shall choose one and expand on it later. Thanks for reading.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Designing Designs, and alternatives to buying brand

I think my friends are somewhat tired of me talkinga bout how sorrowful I am over not having access to my lolita stuff. Last night, I caught myself looking at bodyline dresses and considering prices and fits.
x_x  I know that most bodyline dresses can't fit me. But (some) are so pretty! And not all are sugary sweet hyper sweet lolita!

To be honest, some of those angelic pretty prints and the knockoffs from bodyline look like they'd give you diabetes if you look at them too long. I like Bbtssb more than angelic pretty because at times they tone down their prints. They also have slightly larger sizing. =.=

I am on an ongoing adventure to find clothes for the plus sized lolita. Unfortunately, one of the only ways a plus lolita can dress in lolita is altering a dress, getting a custom commission, going to a brand shop like F+F and getting custom sized, or making your own.

  • The first option, altering a dress, is very tricky. One must find cloth that is exactly the same. You might have to decimate a bow that came with the dress, or apply a neutral color. The most common sizing fix is to add panels of space underneath the arms. That is often where the seams, zippers or buttons are. 
  • The next idea is to let the skirt and bodice out. If there is shirring or gathering at the bodice or skirt, one could take a seam ripper and let some of the gathers out, and resew them.
  • If one follows these ideas, the bottom of skirt width may not be enough. Therefore, another way to add width would be to add panels.
  • If one is tall, adding ruffles of a plain color or a nice quality lace is ideal to add a few inches to the hem. I did this with my Bodyline dress, which was four inches too short.
Most of these ideas involve knowing at least basic sewing. I grew up being a crafty person. I played with my sewing kit when I was in daycare. (I was somewhat of a nuisance, I admit, because I left needles around... x_X) But I essentially taught myself. Back stitching, running stitch, basting, and overcast hand stitching are basic. However, if you need aid in this, there are plenty of tutorials on Youtube. My mummah taught me the basics of knitting and crocheting, and I learned the rest on Youtube.

Custom commissions are slightly more tricky. If you don't feel like learning to sew, or are just awful at it, good news! You can simply transfer the work to someone else! There are listings on the major EGL communities for seamstresses all over.  [I will list some here.]
Generally, you can get feedback from these seamstresses from their shop pages, whether it be etsy, artfire, eBay, or livejournal.

There are cheap lolita clothing shops all around the internet. The problem is, you have to make sure the dress or accessory isn't ita. Ita means painful in Japanese, and basically, its a dress that's tacky, horrible, ugly, or cheap looking. Lolitas strive to be as far from Ita as possible. It takes some skill to not be ita, and every lolita goes through an ita period. Cheap dresses tend to be ita, so check with an online lolita community to get feedback before you purchase an ugly dress or skirt. Some brand clothes have been ita offenders, so also check this out.
Some different  low cost japanese, chinese, or korean stores:

These sites all offer custom sizes, all the way up to around US size 20 or 22. They also offer men sizes, which mean skirts and torsos are longer.

Making your own dress:
Slightly more hard. There are lolita sewing circles and knitting circles you could join.
I will list more about this later, though.

I'm thinking of making this blouse: I only have cotton broadcloth with me, so I will have to double it up. Most free burdastyle patterns don't have instructions. However, basically just stitching the seams and hemming, using fraystop and lining helps. Every handsewn project will be different, and is a step to learning how to become a good seamstress. Everyone makes mistakes, it just takes practice.

When I have time, I hope to make a small guide on handsewing lolita clothing.

I have plenty of lolita clothing designs. I would love to make my own line of plus sized lolita clothing, sizes 10 to 22, or at least lolita patterns. The problem is, I'm a game artist now. I feel like I have to devote all my time to achieving this goal. I love both, but I don't know which I love more: crafting lolita items or drawing for video games. I don't like choosing... I guess this subject is for another time.

Stay frilly y'all.


Monday, July 25, 2011

It rains

Yay, I so prefer rain and thunderstorms. I mostly prefer cloudy weather. It makes going outside so much more bearable. The bright glaring sun makes it hard to see my electronic screens, or read. In the summer, it is somewhat obvious. It scalds you! Icky sun.

I think we're having thunderstorms 3 times this week in the new york capital region.

Still no luck on getting my lolita dresses from storage...
I have been working on lolita crafts though. I really enjoy crochet lace, as I stated in a previous post. I have been creating crochet doilies and lace. Pictures of them will come soon, I did force myself to take pictures of them in my spare time. <3

My second main project is an olive colored vest. I am unravelling an old project to make it. I am going to adorn it as to make it look more steampunk. Hopefully I can wear it with a blouse to get a steampunk lolita look.
Here's the pattern at least.
I think it could use some waist shaping and such, but I don't want to mess this up at the moment. Maybe if I make a second vest.

I am about 40% done with my knitted lolita cutsew. I am down to the chest, and I need to connect the front. I have to figure out a decent cast on that won't make the top roll, because I most likely won't have people picking up stitches. x_X I dun like picking up stitches. If I do a long tail cast on, I will most likely just do the garter stitch.
This, if you remember, is a personal pattern that I  am considering publishing for free if it comes out correctly. No pictures so far. u_u


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Summer festival lolita

I don't much care for being a lone lolita. I've never been to a meetup, and I don't have any lolita friends (I do have other friends of course).
That's why it pains me when I'm not in lolita, and I see another lolita walking about.

I've been searching for months for lolitas in the capitol region of NY: Albany, Schenectady, Troy, Rensselaer. Heck, I'll settle for lolitas located in NY, CT, or MA. I am a very shy lolita, but I would dearly love to collaborate with other local lolitas.

The other problem is that my dresses are stuck in storage and I can't reach them!  I only have one of my dresses. I don't have any skirts. I feel like I've been cut off from something I love. When I'm out of lolita, I look... androgynous, or boyish, or just plain common and mundane, so its hard to approach other lolitas on the street and say hi, because I feel so ashamed of the state I'm in, and that they look so lovely in their frills. I wish my inside were able to reflect my outside more often.By that I mean, I wish I had my dresses with me!

I've only seen two lolitas IRL. One was in NYC last year, in a baby blue bodyline dress and handmade blouse. The second one was actually in Troy, at a barbeque, in a black angelic pretty OP with strawberries on it. I wish I wasn't so embarrassed as to just say 'I like your dress!' and walk away. I was just in shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals, and was sweating (it was 85 degrees) so I was very embarrassed that I didn't look at all like a lady.

However, more power to her for wearing stockings and petticoats in 85 degree weather! Though the skirts are quite ventilating. Perhaps there should be wool or acrylic type petticoat layers for the winter, and chiffon or light cotton or linen petticoats for the summer. The victorians must have already thought about this. They couldn't have been sweating in 90 degree weather in dresses that covered their whole bodies.

When this summer is out, and I am able to reach my dresses, I don't think I'm going to let them leave me again. NEVER!!!

So embarrassed....


Monday, July 11, 2011

Painter X

Painter X is the program I use to paint digitally. When you want to simulate traditional materials, or do some really smooth blending for art that needs not to be scaled, go to Painter. It  takes .psds. I use it for my soft shading because it does the painting effects I want in far less time than photoshop.

At times, it is harder to figure out because it has slightly different shortcuts. The eyedropper tool is D, but I changed it to I like in photoshop. It has so many built in brushes to get the proper effects you want. SO many brushes. Its overwhelming at times. But you just have to explore them. I have barely touched oil brushes because right now it's not right for my arts.

Sometimes it crashes. Kinda annoying. It crashed a few months ago. But then again, photoshop, firefox, ALL adobe products, and internet explorer all crash. So that's not new. It has autosave.

The main point of this post is to say that layers are dealt with differently in Painter X. You 'collapse' layers instead of 'dropping' or 'merging' layers like in other image programs. To drop a layer means to merge the layer with the background layer. Be careful in that regard!

To collapse a layer in Painter: Press Ctrl + Shift + X, and the program will merge the current layer with the layer just below it.


Saturday, July 9, 2011

All types of Lace

This summer, I have discovered I love lace. I mainly like crocheted lace, because of all the twists and turns that can occur in one piece. Large pieces of fabric can be made from such tiny thread and some kind of metal needle. It's beautiful, delicate work that I just admire.

So far, my obsession is with crocheted lace, tatted lace, needle lace, and bobbin lace. I feel like embroidery is a completely different art. I will take it up sometime, when I can sew my own dresses on a sewing machine. I plan on embroidering the bodices and hems of my lolita dresses by hand eventually. But that kind of embroidery isn't lace. Still beautiful though.

I've fallen in love with irish crochet lace. Its so small and delicate, but the tiny delicate motifs and thread can be built into a more substantial complicated image.  I one day hope to make larger fabrics, like tapestries. Its almost like painting with a hook.

I have to be very careful not to get it dirty with my fingers, because the thread is often white. I do have some green thread I got from a thrift store years ago that I brought from home. I am washing my hands a lot more than I normally do to avoid this.

There are so many generations of women (and a few men) making delicate geometric designs. Unfortunately, crochet is a relatively new craft, as its roots can only be traced back as far as the 19th century. Even still, there is a wealth of creative designs and constructions using all sorts of yarn materials and hooks.

I don't know much about tatting other than it is created with a shuttle with a hook at one end, and creates a very loopy fabric. Apparently, it was called the poor man's lace, because it was so quick and simple to make. Lace was at one point a very important skill for decorating clothes and other accessories. Lace was costly, and there were experts that inspected lace, especially all the way back to the 1600s. Regions were known for their specific skills in lace, and lace was a very important commodity.

I have been working on knitting a replica cutsew, but I am still choosing the lace to put around the collar. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of that because I haven't gotten that far in its creation. Perhaps i will be able to scan in the planned picture.

Eventually, I want to learn needle lace and cutwork. I feel that these two branches of lace make a more traditional , dense lace. I don't so much like knitted lace, because you have to wash, block and press it after every use, and there are too many holes 'where they aren't supposed to be'. I can understand its pretty, with the yarnovers and such. I do like putting them in more solid knitted fabric.

I am looking forward to examining the history of lace.I have already read some wikipedia articles and looked in the local library.

Unfortunately, my time for creation of lace and research of lace is short, as I have work from 10am to 6pm.

These are some of the patterns I'm working on right now:
I"m also working on a lace cravat from the australian home journal. If you have ravelry, here it is.


Friday, July 8, 2011

Hello again

Sorry I haven't been posting. Been so busy with work. We're creating a new game, and we're all really working hard on it. It's a game app for smartphones, but we need money for marketing. It would be great if people could examine this link. Thanks!


Friday, June 10, 2011

Blender updates

I've just found an amazing modifier in blender 2.5. It was probably here for  many versions. I just found it today though. The bevel modifier.

It adds subtle creases to your mesh, and makes it look more detailed without you having to model in the curves. It is much better for softening hard edges than the subdivide modifier or smooth modifier.

Hopefully I will be able to post images of this mesh after the game comes out.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

3d Modelling and Texturing

It is difficult in Blender 2.5. Heck, it was difficult in blender 2.49.

Blender is a great 3d modelling program. Yeah, 2.5 looks much more sleek and professional, but why did they take the spacebar menu from us? Now I have to click and point. Spacebar brings up file menu items, not mesh objects and options. I kinda liked that.

I learned quite a few things in the past two weeks. I am out of college for the summer, and working at Deadmans Productions as a game artist.  I am learning a lot about how an artist works, and I have learned how to pace myself. I am not sure if I am allowed to show previews or anything, since the projects are under wraps.

But we have one new app coming out soon, and I am working on another one that should be coming out in a few weeks. Tight deadline.

I just did some weird UV stuff. By weird UV stuff, I mean I unwrapped a mesh and gave it an image with an alpha channel. But now the outside is invisible and the inside is the wrong texture. Oh blender. You can be so tricky and finicky.

But having to model things, mockups and finished structures has really helped me to streamline my 3d and sketching skills. I know how to move the 3d cursor back to the origin of the map, to parent objects and to make new objects, to join objects, what blender wants to see when you want to make a UV object, and lots more. How fun.
I'm pretty grateful that I get to work in the industry so soon.

Ugh. I'm having trouble adjusting to the new schedule though. I'm tired all the time.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Lolita-like knitting patterns

I've been moving out of my dorm room. Things are a bit precarious right now. I had to put my box of yarn into storage. D:
I don't have time to be a lolita on the outside. But I sure as heck am still one, even if I don't wear so much as a bow this summer.
I definitely have to ration my money this summer too. Ugh.

Anyway, since I cannot purchase the clothes or sew them, these are some lolitaesque cardigans and tops I plan to knit to supplement my lolita wardrobe:

See you all later.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Game done

I did a lot of artwork for this game. The gameplay wasn't what i had wanted it to be. It was a great struggle for me.

... Just goes to show that again, I'm not a coder. So 1.5 months to make a whole game by myself isn't going to produce an award winning game.

I'm a little sore about that, because we have to exhibit it for two days and I'm DONE with that thing. I have plenty of projects I want to work on. I need to totally make a list of all the projects I want to complete. However,I have around 3-4 essays to write and I'm trying to pass my classes. Also, I"m trying to find summer housing so I can work at Deadmans over the summer. It has so far been extremely difficult to do this.

List of projects:
Finish that 3d face I was sculpting in Blender
update my website's content and layout
Draw some of my brainstormed lolita clothing prints
Learn animation in blender (I already know animation in Maya)
Create a lolita dress up game
Learn pygame
make a prototype of the game "Tessa's story"
Finish that dark green lolita dress
finish sewing that black lolita pinafore
finish knitting my cream colored lolita socks
pick a fabric and dress style for my lolita summer dress

That's all off the top of my head.

I will post a link to my game. Maybe eventually. But here is the poster.

I'm really proud of the guitar design. that was fun. I had drawn both the lead singer and the guitar in my sketchbook last year and decided it would be fun to use them.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

End of the School year, start of Summer

It looks like I will have to stay in or near Troy this summer, because I have a job at this local game designing studio. I am very happy about it. I just realized a few days ago that I will have to stay in Troy for a few years. Maybe I can live in Albany. I'm just scared because Troy is so ABSOLUTELY BORING.

But I am excited to work there. I'm pretty lucky to get a job in the field not even right out of college. IN COLLEGE. Kinda shamed  myself during the interview tho....
Everything will be official in a few days. I have been looking around for housing over the summer. This time of the year is getting pretty stressful for me, and I'm so tired.

This is also the time of year where lolita gets nigh unbearable to wear. That's why I sew my dresses out of washable materials. There's no sense being in 80 degree weather in a dry clean only dress. You're just begging for sweat stains and the cost of removing them. I have no idea how I'm going to wash that dress from milanoo though. I'm afraid of it falling apart. :/ Isn't that a shame? And so far I'm too lazy-busy to clean the tub in my dorm room so I can wash it.
Bedsheets and curtains are the way to go. If not, washable cotton and polyester. No polyester in the summer though. It is like you are under a plastic sheet that is meant for baking flesh.

As long as it looks nice and isn't burlap, the material doesn't matter. The textile design is the most important feature of a dress or garment in lolita. I don't believe in dresses that bleed or shrink in mainstream brand lolita. Why would you DO that to your customer... D;

I haven't worn lolita in a few days though.
In the end, school is more important than lolita. And I've been rushing about and bustling to finish my work. I'm just so sleepy all the time.

I have finished a great deal of my game. I decided early on that I didn't like it. But apparently I have to stick to it. UUuggh there is one week left and I want to make a different game! I've been thinking that for weeks. That's not a good sign, I know. But I guess I need a grade.

The main programming problem I am having so far is that the damn guitar won't like... stop duplicating itself.
I need to draw the enemies and make the paparazzi work.

Yesterday and the day before were 80 degrees. Was awful. I was cranky because I knew I was sweating. When I sweat, I get unhappy because my skin is sticky and I will get the pimples and there is no way for me to cool off.

Ah well. I have to start writing this essay.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Innocent World headband (knitting)

This is not my pattern. I claim no ownership at all.
This is a pattern in one of the Gothic and Lolita Bibles in english. I'll put which one here later.
It's called Innocent World Knit Ribbon Headband, and it is a knit pattern. I just thought other lolitas would want to use it.

It's a free pattern in the books, with the pattern in the back of the book. Only the diagram is shown here, so you will have to figure out the measurements.

Angelic Pretty Tote bag (sewing)

This is not my pattern. I claim no ownership at all.
This is a pattern in one of the Gothic and Lolita Bibles in english. I'll put which one here later.
It's called Angelic Pretty Tote Bag, and it is a sewn pattern. I just thought other lolitas would want to use it.

It's a free pattern in the books, with the pattern in the back of the book. Only the diagram is shown here, so you will have to figure out the measurements.

I want a filet crochet pattern generator

I just saw some beautiful tapestry work. I kinda want to create a pretty tapestry too.
I also don't want to lose interest in it. i have a problem with that. Losing interest in a project after like... .2 days.

what I want is to design my own pattern or use my own drawings to create filet crochet tapestries that imitate renaissance paintings.

I am considering writing my own program to convert the pixels in an image, 1:1, to a chart that can be printed on one page.
I think I would use python. I could prototype it in gamemaker. There's plenty of cross stitch programs. but what if you want to turn a color image to a 2 color black and white filet crochet image? Cross stitch programs don't do that. Maybe I can look for knitting pattern generators. But they essentially do the same thing.

There are so many programs I would try and create if I had the time. I still need to be working on my game. UGH. It's going so awfully.


What I want to do is have the user input a black and white image that is less than 500x500 pixels. (at least for now.)
The program will make a grid by looking at each pixel. If the pixel is white, the box on the grid will be white. If the pixel is black, the box on the grid will be black. If the pixel is a certain dark grey, it will be converted to black. If the pixel is a certain light grey, it will be converted to white.

That is the first version of the program.
The next version of the program will take a picture and convert it into two colors, black and white, and then output the image as a grid.


Filet crochet gets to be very beautiful. Takes long as hell to make though. I would consider making it with a heavy fingering, sport, or even dk weight yarn.

I've always wanted to generate my own maze image as well. Generatikng a solvable maze is very interesting to me,because I wish to know how such an algorithm is possible. I think it would be vastly easier to generate a maze that gets decently far but isn't solvable. A great idea of a maze would be one that has bilateral or quad symmetry. More rotational symmetry would be difficult to make, like odd numbers 5, 7, or 9+.

I think that we should go further in creating art with the computer. There are so many pretty things we can create with an initial 'seeding' action, and then letting mathematics take over. I do love chaos theory, but that's talk for another day.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Drafting Patterns

I tend to draft my own patterns because I can never find ones I want, or ones that fit me. This goes for mostly sewing and knitting. With crochet, I'm still pretty inexperienced.

Not to say that I'm amazing in either of the three. My mother taught me the basics of sewing when I was little, and I had a sewing kit and fooled around making little purses and dolls. Then I stopped for several years. And when I was in my late teens and early 20s, (which I am now, being 20,) I have picked it up again, and have started patterns.

From my last post, I discovered that I found lolita when I was 13 or 14, but only liked drawing it. I feel now that I may like sewing it then drawing it. But I still love designing lolita themes and dresses.

With knitting it was the same way. I learned from my mother. I must have gotten bored with only knitting scarves, and how long it took, because I put them away until a couple of years ago as well. I then learned from youtube how to knit, purl, increase, decrease, knit socks, knit in the round, seam, and other fancy terms, that would allow me make actual garments. Now I have a ravelry account, and am working on designing my own patterns.

I find it funny that my mother wants me to teach her how to knit and crochet. Especially since SHE'S THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME. I didn't know that's something you could forget. There are no hard feelings, it's just that that is somewhat strange/funny.

I've only recently started drafting my own knit and sewing patterns. Most of what I know I know from online searches and Youtube. Unfortunately I don't go to the library enough. The problem is, for most of the hours I am out of class, the public library is closed. It's such a shame.

I've learned to draft my own lolita patterns. I usually look at actual dresses, see what shapes the pieces are constructed in, draw them onto paper, and take my measurements. I also got a very rudimentary pattern for a jsk from egl on Livejournal. I just need to learn tailoring, which I've been getting much better at, being large-breasted. Bust darts are your friends, boys and girls. Burdastyle has helped me learn tailoring.

I'm working on a new steampunk corset styled tank top with ruffles. When I can, I will put up my preliminary picture and pattern. It will be my bust size range, with is 44-48. Right now, or soon, I have to finish up a paper and send it to my professor...
It will be knit in caron simply soft and is designed to be worn with a lolita skirt. I think lolita clothes should have more of a DIY aspect, and knitting and sewing your own outfits is moving into an untapped market.

I have some dreams about this.
I've always wanted to create a line of lolita clothing for American sized women and men. Making a line of lolita knitting patterns may be a great way to start. Victorians knit and did other crafting quite a bit. What can be more lolita than crafting your own clothing and accessories?

Themes I'm interested in: Aristocrat, regency, rococo, romantic era, medieval, ethnic, industrial, steampunk, pirate, sailor, fantasy, and to some small extent, visual kei.

How I learned:


Sewing lolita:


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Contrast in Past artwork

I looked at my artwork in the past, on deviantart. I don't believe in just throwing away my old artwork. I don't think anyone should. How will you know if you've gotten better?

Jan 2005

Feb 2010

These two are the same character, Geneva. I mean, this isn't the best example of how I've gotten better, but there's a definite contrast in how I started to draw her. I feel her character design is more solidified in the second image. That is not what she wears on a daily basis though! It's more like the first image.

late 2010, lolita from GLBs.
Late 2010 early 2011, commission from Gaia.

I was soooo interested in anime and manga. Anime and Manga everything! Now, even though I like it, I'm pretty passive about it. I rarely read or watch anime and manga now. I stick to watching my few favorite animes and episodes more and more. I love shows that aren't anime.

I've really changed as a person-artist in the last 5-6 years, not to mention looking over the course of 18-ish years of drawing. I can see which pictures  show a unique change in my drawing style, where I learned something crucial. I still have most of my sketchbooks, each spanning 1.5 years of my drawing career. I never noticed really that I get a new sketchbook every year.

I'd say nowadays, I write ideas and sketches rather than finished and colored drawings in my sketchbook. My sketchbook is used more to write down ideas, rather than make complete sets of artwork on every page. I am less stringent in this. I think this is because I've slowly transitioned from being a physicist/mathematician to a video game concept artist. During the epoch in which I wanted to be a physicist/mathematician, I was very perfectionist, and worked painstakingly on my artwork. During this occupational epoch, the ideas and concepts are far more important than individual art pieces. All of the little sketches and lines of text I write serve to culminate in a larger, more expressive piece of artwork or series. I have definitely improved. Drawing finished pieces without ideas as to what it means is no way to draw.

While I was becoming a young adult, I had a conflict of being a young artist that absolutely loved anime and manga everything. However, my style wasn't 'cute' enough. I felt bad because my characters weren't adorably 'moe' or 'kawaii' or ''sexy' and I strove to copy more popular internet anime artists, because they were popular.

I kind of see now how hollow a pursuit that was. Where are these popular anime artists now? They are drawing the same artwork, the same expressions, the same situations, and characters that look almost identical to years ago. That's not what I want to be, just a one liner, just a gimmick.

I drew in class. 2007. This has elements similar to art styles I would only now learn about. Constructivist, for example?

I still draw anime artwork, but I've branched out, and discovered that I like traditional artwork styles. I really discovered that I loved surrealism, constructivism, and Dada. Taking Multimedia Century has helped me realize there are more important issues that need to be drawn, sculpted or painted, other than "this girl in the japanese schoolgirl clothes is blushing over something". I think that anime art should be explored as a legitimate art style in museums that gained popularity in artists around the 1980s and exploded as a style in the 1990s, for educational purposes, because there are lots of misconceptions about its roots and subject matter. However, it shouldn't be taken seriously as something like... that should be taught to children in schools, like impressionism and color theory, or what types of lines you can make with what types of materials. It is like how you don't really teach children how to draw American cartoons in school.
I tried to copy the other artists. Oekaki. I barely knew how the tools worked!

An image from back when I did anime art commissions on gaiaonline. I tried my best with CGing at the time.

I cannot despise anime. It taught me how to draw and kept me striving to learn why I wanted to draw what I drew, and what I should draw. It helped me discover character design, environmental design, fashion design, and of course, lolita. The thing is, I started with anime and then expanded my interests, and as I grew, my knowledge and mastery of stylus based art and ideas grew. Other artists I grew up with have done that as well. A lot of times, I vastly prefer their anime styled artwork much more than what they have recently turned to. For example, this woman was my idol, and she's still amazing artist. But I still loved her oekaki drawings much better, and looking at her progress in them over the years.

I just find it a shame when someone demands to be called a true artist, and they draw the same things over and over again.... with no concept behind the ideas.

I was just looking at these old drawings, and I wish to redraw them. It will be like an artist making a new take on an older piece of artwork. Because I am a new artist. A different artist.

      These are some of the images I want to redraw. I still love them, its just that I can remake the concept behind the image.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Thing Related Depression.

I fell into a depression that has lasted about a week, is why I haven't blogged much or done much.
It is caused by a variety of things. It started when I got my dresses from bodyline. It was exacerbated by difficulties with friends lately. I can never say when a depression ends. I don't want to jinx it.

Due to some unfortunate events in my life, not too horrible, but bad enough, years ago I acquired clinical depression, stress and anxiety disorders. I don't know, but I mihgt also randomly be hallucinating.

A lot of what I have to be depressed about lately is my appearance. I'm definitely not the standard american, or what the media wants the standard american to look like, or what guys at my school want the standard girl to look like.  I wish I was but oh well. No matter how much I diet, or starve myself, or liposuck, I will never be a size 2. And that should be ok.

What does the stereotypical lolita look like? Almost across the board: long blonde hair, baby blue eyes, pale complexion with rosy cheeks, looking about 16-18 years of age, skinny and of a "perfect" height and weight.
Sometimes, it will be a brunette female, with the same features.
Even lolita designers, stars, and lolita laypersons show their ideal image of the lolita as being such. (I've read GL bibles, watched videos, read japanese designer's descriptions, seen drawings on brand sites, seen the kind of models used, and see what japanese women do to their faces, hair and skin to make them look more European/white.)

Do you ever see anything different? Do you ever see clothing modeled by a tall lolita, or a black lolita, or a larger lolita, or a hispanic lolita, or a slightly older lolita (like 28 or something)? It annoys me and torments me. This is because the designers are making clothes for the smaller people. It's not one's fault for being skinny or tall. It may be one's fault for being overweight. But it's also not one's fault for being different.

It is not going to change the fact that I am a lolita. It's just that... oftentimes I don't feel part of the culture. Many times, I want to escape from the culture, or I need a break.

Dress#1, too short.

Dress#2, chest didn't fit.

I thought Bodyline was different. That they catered to a wider variety of lolitas. The dresses I purchased said that they fit busts between 34in and 44in. In the US, this means that the article of clothing fits these sizes comfortably. Or that's how I read it. What it actually meant was that the maximum possible stretch was 44in. Also, the dress comes up 4 inches above my knee. The other dress, I was able to fit one breast into. ONE. I'm so frustrated. Some of it is poor choice on my part. Nevertheless I felt (feel) like an ugly giantess, or like the ugly duckling, because I see other lolitas wearing them and looking so cute. Usually me feeling ugly is associated with me being alone and unloved, not being pretty to other people, and not fitting in in social situations.

I'm going to alter the dresses. The second one will need a LOT of work in the chest, and will need a new underskirt.

The shoes I purchased, if anything, were a little big. I was amazed. So there are these 4' 11 japanese lolita running around with size 10 feet? I expected the shoes to be the same proportion. But I saw shoes there that were too big for me! I"m a little dumbfounded.

I know I need to lose weight, I've been told by everyone, I've been looked down on, criticized, harassed, yelled at, teased, ignored, excluded, overlooked, etc, one of the reasons being for my weight. I don't need to be reminded everywhere I turn by the media too. One of the reasons I can't stand the media. Portray unrealistic images of women. Being plus sized and pretty CAN occur at the same time. Being plus sized and healthy CAN occur at the same time. I've eaten all sorts of salads and vegetables, drinking water, for the past two weeks. (Been drinking water for longer, exercising for longer) Cutting back on meats, portion sizes, doing light exercise when I have time. And then in front of me in the dining hall there are these skinnier girls (typical model size) that are eating several plates of food, among them pizza, fries and burgers. Is it fair to call me unhealthy because of the way I look? Is it fair to call me ugly because I have extra lbs? My metabolism is extremely slow, and I try when I can. A lot of plus sized lolitas do. And then there are skinnier lolitas that eat whatever they want, sit around all day and fit into the smallest brand sizes. Are they healthy because they look slim?

No one is saying that fat is healthy. No one is saying that skinny is healthy. What is correct is to say that healthy is healthy. Whether that is small or large.

You hear the ugly things people say on Lolita secrets and some forums. Downright unladylike and bitchy and inhumane things. These are the sort of things that become rumors and become 'true' in the social spheres, even if they aren't. Like all people that can't fit into brand being fat and ugly, and needing to get out of lolita. Or that men can't dress in lolita, or that lesbians can't be lolita, or that you're too old for lolita (when in fact 30 years old is still young.)
Those people can be ignored. But when people start believing them and imitating them.... it's just horrible. ( One of the comments about 'fat girls' was that they stretch out brand clothes and therefore are bad people. If you're stretching out brand clothing, that means that you're a pretty small American woman, I've realized. How can you call a size 8 american fat??? But it's no-one's business what you do to your clothes.)

I'm depressed because this is the norm, and I am very alone in my geographic location. It seems like many of the males at my school are looking for females of a lighter complexion, straighter, longer hair, shorter, and less heavy. I am what I am.

I'm 5'8". I didn't know I was tall for an american female or world wide female until I looked it up on wikipedia.

I just think.... everyone of any size deserves to feel pretty and be pretty.  Since smaller sizes are catered to all the time, and at especially low prices (places like bodyline and f+f), I think that it's time that larger sizes are catered to.

If I had time, I would create my own lolita fashion line for plus sized females (and maybe regular sized males), maybe from sizes 14 to 24. I would make dresses and skirts for ladies with large breasts and posteriors, women between 5' 5" and 6' or maybe apple shaped individuals. I design tons and tons of clothes already. It's just that... my first priority is getting my degree and entering into the game design field. There were larger victorian women, with large breasts and bottoms. (They had intense corsets, so no large stomachs.) They didn't just go naked. :/ Brands make victorian inspired clothing. So why no clothes for larger females?

I had to get this off my chest. There is no one to say these things, so the converse of each of these statements is considered true. It is not the japanese brands' faults for making clothes for small japanese women. It will be their fault if they don't start realizing that people outside of japan like that fashion, have money, and want to purchase their clothes.

I would love to start exclusively sewing my own lolita clothes, especially since brand clothes will never cater to females with 46DD/E breasts. However, I do not have a sewing machine, so handsewing takes months. And that is when I don't have projects. I can draft my own patterns to proficiency. Drafting and tailoring for other people, however, is a monumental feat.

I am trying to drag myself out of this depression. It is a hard thing to do alone, or even with a therapist and meds.
Sorry for the depressing post. Again, getting things off of my chest. Hopefully I'm in a mood to dress lolita again. I really try....


Thursday, March 31, 2011

Experimental Game 2

I am becoming much more comfortable with Gamemaker. It's making me think more logically, and I am happy with that.

Here's a screenshot of what I have so far. I don't have a good title for it yet. But I have the rudiments of the gameplay up.

It was still kinda embarrassing to show this to my class, because it's not too innovative like the other groups.

I've gotten random amounts of enemies to appear. Very proud of that. Tonight I want to get up the rudiments of a menu screen. Also I am still working on concept art.

One day, I hope to be able to use pygame.... I can see easily how a lot of these variables may be manipulated there.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Inexpensive vs Expensive Brand Clothes, 1

I think that using the word cheap to refer to something low cost is poor terminology. It sounds tacky to call something cheap. Or constantly talk about getting a 'good deal' on a bulk package of clothes. It is as if you're trying to purchase a used car for $200 dollars. Buying clothes is quite a 'you get what you pay for' idea. It is like getting a shirt, shoes, pants and socks for $10. The quality is likely to be terrible, or the clothes will look horrible.
One wants clothes that are sturdy and stylish.

It is obvious that while one wants to not 'break the bank', i.e. paying $400 for a dress or $200 for some shoes. One can look stylish on a budget.  One must also pay a reasonable price, because the price of the clothing goes to pay the company, and the workers, and for advertising, and to keep the lights on in their stores, and especially for the cloth. Or, if it's a private boutique or seamstress/tailor, cost of materials, time, shipping and further tailoring.

One must consider moderation. Paying $300 for a dress is debatable. What it comes down to is if you feel wearing their name is worth it, or if they are just pretty clothes.

I feel this way about brand name lolita clothing. It is obvious that a dress costs so much due to these factors:
  • A certain designer designed it
  • It is made with certain expensive materials, such as brocade, silk, velvet, or natural materials
  • the dress had much labor put into it, with painstaking detail
  • the company can add 'couture' in front of the name or in the description, and add on $300+ dollars to the actual cost.
  • how many dresses are in stock
  • how high the anticipated demand is
  • et cetera.
Most of the time, I just don't think it's right to charge so much for something easily mass produced. Perhaps it is expected of the creators to make something expensive, so that not everyone can have or wear it. Would it be fashionable if everyone was able to fit it and wear it and it lasted for some time? I just feel... if you're going to make a one colored dress out of polyester and cotton, throw on a few frills, a few bits of lace.... is it right to  make it $360USD? They certainly have a right, it is their clothing. But is it fair? Certainly if it were a full rococo gown, historically accurate, with soft, factory made lace and the whole thing is machine washable, it is justified that it should cost $300+ dollars. I wouldn't be surprised if it cost $500, and more if it was a seamstress making it, with hand sewn or hand made details.

Small independent companies are more justified in pricing, because there is much more hands on work in creating the garment, such as hand-picking the fabrics, hand sewing any alterations, embellishing and talking with the customer on sizing, repairs or additions.
Larger shops, like some of the ones I saw on 5th avenue, don't quite have that level of detail in their service. Therefore, I feel as if they're taking advantage of the consumer, and are not justified in selling a pair of synthetic leather heels for $3000. The only way to justify that is if the designer is making every pair of shoes themselves, or if they had precious metals or stones, and rare unique materials. Like live goldfish.
Pic from Discovery Blogs. No, you can't wear these. I wonder if PETA has seen these.

I do enjoy how brands are starting to make their clothes slightly larger and slightly more affordable. I am not a big brand fan. I feel some remorse in saying this. I thought I was a lolita. But is buying brand and wearing someone's name on your feet, head and torso what makes you a lolita? Not at all. The clothes are just covering in the end. It is justifiable to like their style, and want to be a part of their vision. Wearing brand for bragging rights, just to say that you're an expensive and therefore important person, is ridiculous.

I would, however, pay up to $200 for a dress. I believe are such dresses as I would pay such a price:
Dear Celine's Summer Classic OP, from QutieLand
Infanta's Spring Whisper Lady Charlotte OP, from QutieLand

Angelic Pretty's Sweet Princess OP, in Lavender

By plus sized, I mean bust and waist sizes of over 36 inches, or a height larger than 5' 6". And with no alteration.

There's not much you can do for actual brand OPs if you're 45" in either bust or waist. Nothing to do but wait. However, you can request reproductions or totally new dresses from smaller boutiques and seamstresses. It is my dream that these shops will realize that larger sized foreigners exist and want to purchase their clothing. u_u

Plus sized friendly brand shops:
QutieLand - A number of smaller shops that tailor make clothes standard size and 'oversized' for 10-20 extra USD.
Victorian Maiden - A very small number of brand dresses that would fit around bust or waist size of 40-42.
Innocent world - A respectable amount of dresses that have an upper bound of 44 inch waist or bust. Personal favorite.
Baby the Stars Shine Bright (BtSSB) - Their shirred clothing fits up to 45 sized bust and waist. Their tailored clothing hovers around 36 inches for bust and waist.
Candy Violet - An american startup lolita shop, with their own site. They have a size 2XL to most of their clothes, B: 46 W: 36.
English Charm - Goes up to 2XL, B: 48 W: 42 H: 52
Ergi - sizes by commission
Fan+Friend - up to around bust of 44 for untailored items. Offers tailored items.
mfashion - A few brand blouses, B: 42 W:40
Milky Ange - A lot of their dresses have an XL size, where  B: 44in W: 40-42 in. Very lovely traditional lolita.

List will continue as I find shops.


Friday, March 25, 2011

Feminist Art and Feminism, Gender clothes

Feminist art and feminism has come a long way.

I want to eventually write a post on body image, western expectations and maybe include lolita in this. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. We have been talking about fluxus, contemporary art, and feminist art in my Multimedia class.

I feel that the idea of a feminist put forth in our culture is some hairy, bulky woman who hates men and want a woman dominated society. I feel that this is caused by some radical feminists,

Feminism has done a lot for women rights. They drew attention to the fact that women have been treated like objects, and have not received equal pay, and equal rights. I feel that
I was amazed to learn that there were female artists in the 1500 and 1600s. However, I've noticed that they are rarely mentioned in history books. My art text books only named a few female artists. I wonder if it was because they weren't allowed to exhibit work, so they weren't well known, or if the textbooks simply neglected to mention them.
There were  females that stood up for the right to vote, and rights over their body, and the role of women. These women wore dresses, did up their hair, and took care of children. All feminine things.

I grew up in an age of online anonimity. The internet conceals your gender, race, and orientations. This can both be bad and good. But if I didn't say I was a female, that I was black, that I grew up in the inner city, would you ever know? All you can do is trust me.

What I mean by saying this is... that in such places, you can be whatever you want. People are defined by their activities and what they say, and can be masculine or feminine, not male or female. I believe feminism has done a good job. Now, neutrality should take over. We need to stop being males and females, 'girls' and 'boys'. Because we can be either. There's so many permutations of a human being that these labels barely make sense.

Two examples of more neutral topics:

I got these from  google search. The sites these images are from are listed at the end of the post. They're not mine, I just wanted to show examples.

Cute, but bewildered expression.

And of course, Mana.

How this might relate to lolita?
I absolutely love Brolitas and cute masculine looking cross dressers and transvestites. I think they're so beautiful. Here's the google search for Brolita.

I love how japanese brands sometimes have male sizes for dresses.
My only qualm about brolitas is..... that the fact that some don't shave their faces. You can go without makeup. You're going to look more manly, but maybe that's the effect you're trying for. But facial hair in general on a lolita... it looks sloppy. That's so unfortunate.

Google search


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Experimental Game 2, and knit pattern drafts

I'm supposed to be working on my game right now. I'm making it in Gamemaker 8 lite. I don't have screenshots because I have NOTHING DONE. Waaah.
I love game design but making a game on your own in a total of 2 months is horrific.

I like the resolution 900x700, which is a slight scale-up of 800x600. The character sprites are going to be 100x50. I am using placeholder sprites for now, because I don't even know if I'm going to stay with that.

I've been so distracted by lolita. I'm ashamed, I woke at 8:30 and took a shower, and spent all the time I had for breakfast primping and preening and making sure my bow was on right. I only have a phone picture.
But I was late for my multimedia class. Basically art history. So, I got marked tardy. So another two tardys and my grade goes down a letter. But this is the first time I've been late to class this year.

My friend Jacob is.... not that fashion oriented. So he chastizes me whenever I take too long or go over the top with my lolita outfit. I feel guilty because I was at least 5-10 minutes late for class because I was trying to see what my body was doing in relation to my grey dress.
The waist was fine, my butt was fine. It was those infernal BREASTS! They keep growing and saboutaging me! If they keep growing I won't be able to properly fit into the dresses I have now!
But I had to re-lace the back corseting and make sure the hem was fine... I can never get ready in time for a leisurely breakfast.

I have to scan in the paparazzi image and trace over it in vector-ness to make it look clean for the game.
I also have to trace in the crowd.

My main problem is that I shall need to find code that allows my character to be fixed in one relative position on the screen, while being able to move up and down. The room is going to be a long room, and enemies spawn from the right side.

Edit: Triumph! I got my character to move up and down the screen and stop at an invisible wall!


Patterns on another note:

I see all these brand name cardigans in these online lolita shops. They're 200 dollars and gorgeous. Cardigans are a staple of almost every lolita substyle.
I love making things, especially things I can wear. I figure, why not make replicas? They won't be exactly like the cardigans, because I'm not aiming to make something in fingering or lace weight. Worsted weight is fine. I consider these patterns to be inspired.

I get this idea from going to Ravelry and Craftster and there being patterns like: "Anthropologie Inspired capelet" or "Anthropologie Inspired Cloche". I can't find patterns for this stuff, and I want to spend my money on jsks and the little brand that I can buy, so why not make them? Or at least try?

I want to try this also because even if I should want to buy their cardigans, I will never be able to fit them. So this will be for all those women that are larger than a Japanese small/medium (or are a Japanese small/medium).

There are so many knitting patterns that can be altered to make replicas, hybrids, or even brand new original cardigans. Once I get a hang of creating cardigans and other objects from scratch, I want to design my own patterns and share. This is a project I will work on in the future. First, I must make something presentable of my game project.

But my next cardigan project will be a plain low scoop neck top down raglan, with Caron one lb sky blue acrylic yarn. It is this pattern.

If you do want to buy these cardigans, or draw them, or drool over them, they're here. These are cardigans I absolutely love and can't afford...

Inspirations for my note, and others:

On another note:
I love that innocent world has been making their sizes slightly larger, and they have amazing sales for brand name clothes! Angelic pretty has been doing that tooo! They have size "large". Good job lady and gentleman designers! Keep up the good work.