Showing posts with label hand sew. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hand sew. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Boobs and Exercise, the good and the bad
It might be a secret that I have large boobs. Esp. since I don't post pictures of myself. D= I just can't find good ones!
I am fat, but not every fat woman has large breasts. At least they make my waist look small. But in some ways, I envy fatter women with large breasts. For example, they can find sports bras! Once you hit cup D and up, it becomes astronomically more expensive and more difficult to find. I REALLY don't want to pay $65 dollars for one sports bra. Its a bit unfair that some women have to pay more for decent bra and some pay less... and of course can find their size...
FYI, I researched breast taping as an alternative. They flatten your breast tissue and can cause lumps, poor circulation, and improper taping can crack your ribs and compress your lungs. Oi, being a female can be difficult.
Why am I saying all of this? I used to love running when I was younger. I used to be amazing at sprinting. I also used to be skinny. I just... really miss running mainly. Of course I want to lose a bit of weight, but that is mainly so I can enjoy running again. It is a great past time.
I feel, the main things that are stopping me are:
1. my boob size: finding sports bra, them moving and hurting me
2. I hate sweat cuz it causes me skin problems.... even after washing myself
3. my knees and ankles tend to hurt after a few days of running, what with cracking and just feeling like I've sprained them.
4. I have no one to run with (either in my area, within my family, or in my size range). I guess I could search for a running group in my area, but I feel... these people will be people that are experienced, and run 5 miles a day, with their lean, rippling leg muscles...
I've been working my way up to running 1 block. I also want to know what times people choose to run. I feel that I'm not a morning person, noon is when the sun is pounding down upon you, afternoon is when the few television shows that I actually do watch are on, and obviously you can't jog at night, what with cars and crime. AND MOSQUITOES, ugh, bugs, I hate jogging and having bugs get in my ears. HATE it. If I put on headphones, then the bugs just touch my neck and chest and legs. Why....
What I really want is a running skirt... those look so comfortable. Of course, like the breast reducers/sports bras, they're EXPENSIVE.
I tend to build muscle fast, in general.
I have found walking doesn't build or tone my muscles as fast as running, hiking, stair climbing or bicycling.
I struggle to find a way past these problems. My online searches only yield generic advice for slim people OR larger people. It truly seems either/or. It may be my search terms that are the problem.
Umm, on another note, I'm almost done sewing a different style of lolita skirt. Hand sewing. It is going to have an elastic band used as shirring: it has a folded over waistband, sewn onto the actual skirt, which has a wider diameter and is shirred.
I don't know, I just prefer sewing by hand to machine sewing, even though it is vastly faster. I've also accidentally stabbed my fingers several times this summer, just by hand sewing. I somewhat want one of those leather thread pullers or leather thimbles, to minimize that. Usually I just wipe my finger and continue on, as it isn't worth it to put a bandage on a pinprick. It stops bleeding in minutes anyway.
I need a new petticoat for that matter. The last one I had I foolishly put in the dryer....I have some old t-shirts and bedsheets I wanted to experiment with. Cotton/polyester. I want to reserve my larger pieces of fabric for actual skirts, dresses and tops.
-MNR
Monday, March 19, 2012
Spring break, the casino, and sewing machine
Well, spring break is over tonight. It kinda sucks that it is over.
I had fun, though most of the days I was just lounging about and sleeping and knitting.
I did get a chance to drive home and stay there for 3 days, 90 miles is the farthest I've driven.
My friends and I went to Mohegan Sun casino and resort yesterday for St. Patrick's day. It was intense. Lots of partying people, we saw the parade, I lost $40 (my friend provided the money) and at the roulette table he won back all of our losses. So it wasn't awful. I actually like the roulette and black jack tables much better than the slots. More strategy involved than pushing a button and getting random wins.
In general, I learned I don't like gambling. I lost a lot, and the wins I did get weren't worth much. If I were to go again, I would go to see the shows and watch people at the tables. I feel.... I need some tangible return for putting money into the endeavor. A lot of celebrities come and do shows at the casino. I didn't realize.
I totally wish they had Pokemon slots like in the gameboy games. That would be awesome, I would totally play! For that matter, the Pokemon games need things like blackjack and roulette or Pokemon poker.
By the end of all that, my feet hurt so much. The place is fairly huge and there are massive amounts of crowds and the only place to sit is at the slots. =P Very strategic there.
There was a scandalously dancing man that handed out necklaces with "lightly dressed" females handing out beer reward cards. I got both, but I didn't use the beer card. I don't like beer. I am more of a wine or cocktail person. Also I don't drink often.
The mainly awful part was driving there. There were so many terrifying moments of getting lost, and the gps was trying to screw us over constantly. Oh, mother gave me her tom tom 2 recently, and I am borrowing her sewing machine.
I didn't dress the way I wanted to. I really wanted to sew the coffee date dress from burdastyle and wear it to the casino so I could look like some arm candy and find James Bond at one of the poker tables and be his good luck charm. But... mohegan sun is... more of a family oriented casino. And the vast majority of the people that went there weren't dressed up. After I was done gambling, For the last couple hours I people watched. That was the most disappointing part about people watching. There were very few people in suits and cocktail dresses.
However, when you do go to the place where the sit-down restaurants are, more people are dressed up, in pumps and short dresses. A younger, more hip crowd, mostly to go to the nightclub there.
I just wore casual outerwear. I was somewhat upset about that, that I didn't really dress up. I tried, but soo many clothes, and nothing matching! Argle!
About the sewing machine though: I was there at 11 pm, in the dorm, cutting up the printed pattern, taping pieces together. Then my sewing machine started to make loud squeaking noises.
and then the squeaking noises started to intensify slowly, and would appear and disappear.
I'm very upset, because I oiled every part of the machine. I searched online, it may be that the engine needs oil. I had better look at the manual, or call mummah.... but she got it tuned up last year, so the motor's brushes shouldn't be eroded.
I have a Kenmore model 385.something, I can't quite remember the whole model number off the top of my head. I downloaded a free copy of the manual a few months ago, so I shall try to troubleshoot myself. I just got access to a sewing machine. I don't want to have to take it home because if I take it home it will stay there for months, not getting tuned up as it needs.
Before it crapped out I did manage to finish my green dress. So its not that awful...
I need to learn how to insert zippers and make button holes tho. I can hand sew anything else I guess.
Well, back to class tomorrow. When I have time, I guess.
-MNR
I had fun, though most of the days I was just lounging about and sleeping and knitting.
I did get a chance to drive home and stay there for 3 days, 90 miles is the farthest I've driven.
My friends and I went to Mohegan Sun casino and resort yesterday for St. Patrick's day. It was intense. Lots of partying people, we saw the parade, I lost $40 (my friend provided the money) and at the roulette table he won back all of our losses. So it wasn't awful. I actually like the roulette and black jack tables much better than the slots. More strategy involved than pushing a button and getting random wins.
In general, I learned I don't like gambling. I lost a lot, and the wins I did get weren't worth much. If I were to go again, I would go to see the shows and watch people at the tables. I feel.... I need some tangible return for putting money into the endeavor. A lot of celebrities come and do shows at the casino. I didn't realize.
I totally wish they had Pokemon slots like in the gameboy games. That would be awesome, I would totally play! For that matter, the Pokemon games need things like blackjack and roulette or Pokemon poker.
By the end of all that, my feet hurt so much. The place is fairly huge and there are massive amounts of crowds and the only place to sit is at the slots. =P Very strategic there.
There was a scandalously dancing man that handed out necklaces with "lightly dressed" females handing out beer reward cards. I got both, but I didn't use the beer card. I don't like beer. I am more of a wine or cocktail person. Also I don't drink often.
The mainly awful part was driving there. There were so many terrifying moments of getting lost, and the gps was trying to screw us over constantly. Oh, mother gave me her tom tom 2 recently, and I am borrowing her sewing machine.
I didn't dress the way I wanted to. I really wanted to sew the coffee date dress from burdastyle and wear it to the casino so I could look like some arm candy and find James Bond at one of the poker tables and be his good luck charm. But... mohegan sun is... more of a family oriented casino. And the vast majority of the people that went there weren't dressed up. After I was done gambling, For the last couple hours I people watched. That was the most disappointing part about people watching. There were very few people in suits and cocktail dresses.
However, when you do go to the place where the sit-down restaurants are, more people are dressed up, in pumps and short dresses. A younger, more hip crowd, mostly to go to the nightclub there.
I just wore casual outerwear. I was somewhat upset about that, that I didn't really dress up. I tried, but soo many clothes, and nothing matching! Argle!
About the sewing machine though: I was there at 11 pm, in the dorm, cutting up the printed pattern, taping pieces together. Then my sewing machine started to make loud squeaking noises.
and then the squeaking noises started to intensify slowly, and would appear and disappear.
I'm very upset, because I oiled every part of the machine. I searched online, it may be that the engine needs oil. I had better look at the manual, or call mummah.... but she got it tuned up last year, so the motor's brushes shouldn't be eroded.
I have a Kenmore model 385.something, I can't quite remember the whole model number off the top of my head. I downloaded a free copy of the manual a few months ago, so I shall try to troubleshoot myself. I just got access to a sewing machine. I don't want to have to take it home because if I take it home it will stay there for months, not getting tuned up as it needs.
Before it crapped out I did manage to finish my green dress. So its not that awful...
I need to learn how to insert zippers and make button holes tho. I can hand sew anything else I guess.
Well, back to class tomorrow. When I have time, I guess.
-MNR
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Designing Designs, and alternatives to buying brand
I think my friends are somewhat tired of me talkinga bout how sorrowful I am over not having access to my lolita stuff. Last night, I caught myself looking at bodyline dresses and considering prices and fits.
x_x I know that most bodyline dresses can't fit me. But (some) are so pretty! And not all are sugary sweet hyper sweet lolita!
To be honest, some of those angelic pretty prints and the knockoffs from bodyline look like they'd give you diabetes if you look at them too long. I like Bbtssb more than angelic pretty because at times they tone down their prints. They also have slightly larger sizing. =.=
I am on an ongoing adventure to find clothes for the plus sized lolita. Unfortunately, one of the only ways a plus lolita can dress in lolita is altering a dress, getting a custom commission, going to a brand shop like F+F and getting custom sized, or making your own.
Custom commissions are slightly more tricky. If you don't feel like learning to sew, or are just awful at it, good news! You can simply transfer the work to someone else! There are listings on the major EGL communities for seamstresses all over. [I will list some here.]
Generally, you can get feedback from these seamstresses from their shop pages, whether it be etsy, artfire, eBay, or livejournal.
There are cheap lolita clothing shops all around the internet. The problem is, you have to make sure the dress or accessory isn't ita. Ita means painful in Japanese, and basically, its a dress that's tacky, horrible, ugly, or cheap looking. Lolitas strive to be as far from Ita as possible. It takes some skill to not be ita, and every lolita goes through an ita period. Cheap dresses tend to be ita, so check with an online lolita community to get feedback before you purchase an ugly dress or skirt. Some brand clothes have been ita offenders, so also check this out.
Some different low cost japanese, chinese, or korean stores:
Taobao
Fan+Friend
Bodyline
QutieLand
These sites all offer custom sizes, all the way up to around US size 20 or 22. They also offer men sizes, which mean skirts and torsos are longer.
Making your own dress:
Slightly more hard. There are lolita sewing circles and knitting circles you could join.
I will list more about this later, though.
I'm thinking of making this blouse: http://www.burdastyle.com/patterns/andrea-blouse. I only have cotton broadcloth with me, so I will have to double it up. Most free burdastyle patterns don't have instructions. However, basically just stitching the seams and hemming, using fraystop and lining helps. Every handsewn project will be different, and is a step to learning how to become a good seamstress. Everyone makes mistakes, it just takes practice.
http://www.burdastyle.com/search?key=lolita+skirt#
When I have time, I hope to make a small guide on handsewing lolita clothing.
I have plenty of lolita clothing designs. I would love to make my own line of plus sized lolita clothing, sizes 10 to 22, or at least lolita patterns. The problem is, I'm a game artist now. I feel like I have to devote all my time to achieving this goal. I love both, but I don't know which I love more: crafting lolita items or drawing for video games. I don't like choosing... I guess this subject is for another time.
Stay frilly y'all.
-MNR
x_x I know that most bodyline dresses can't fit me. But (some) are so pretty! And not all are sugary sweet hyper sweet lolita!
To be honest, some of those angelic pretty prints and the knockoffs from bodyline look like they'd give you diabetes if you look at them too long. I like Bbtssb more than angelic pretty because at times they tone down their prints. They also have slightly larger sizing. =.=
I am on an ongoing adventure to find clothes for the plus sized lolita. Unfortunately, one of the only ways a plus lolita can dress in lolita is altering a dress, getting a custom commission, going to a brand shop like F+F and getting custom sized, or making your own.
- The first option, altering a dress, is very tricky. One must find cloth that is exactly the same. You might have to decimate a bow that came with the dress, or apply a neutral color. The most common sizing fix is to add panels of space underneath the arms. That is often where the seams, zippers or buttons are.
- The next idea is to let the skirt and bodice out. If there is shirring or gathering at the bodice or skirt, one could take a seam ripper and let some of the gathers out, and resew them.
- If one follows these ideas, the bottom of skirt width may not be enough. Therefore, another way to add width would be to add panels.
- If one is tall, adding ruffles of a plain color or a nice quality lace is ideal to add a few inches to the hem. I did this with my Bodyline dress, which was four inches too short.
Custom commissions are slightly more tricky. If you don't feel like learning to sew, or are just awful at it, good news! You can simply transfer the work to someone else! There are listings on the major EGL communities for seamstresses all over. [I will list some here.]
Generally, you can get feedback from these seamstresses from their shop pages, whether it be etsy, artfire, eBay, or livejournal.
There are cheap lolita clothing shops all around the internet. The problem is, you have to make sure the dress or accessory isn't ita. Ita means painful in Japanese, and basically, its a dress that's tacky, horrible, ugly, or cheap looking. Lolitas strive to be as far from Ita as possible. It takes some skill to not be ita, and every lolita goes through an ita period. Cheap dresses tend to be ita, so check with an online lolita community to get feedback before you purchase an ugly dress or skirt. Some brand clothes have been ita offenders, so also check this out.
Some different low cost japanese, chinese, or korean stores:
Taobao
Fan+Friend
Bodyline
QutieLand
These sites all offer custom sizes, all the way up to around US size 20 or 22. They also offer men sizes, which mean skirts and torsos are longer.
Making your own dress:
Slightly more hard. There are lolita sewing circles and knitting circles you could join.
I will list more about this later, though.
I'm thinking of making this blouse: http://www.burdastyle.com/patterns/andrea-blouse. I only have cotton broadcloth with me, so I will have to double it up. Most free burdastyle patterns don't have instructions. However, basically just stitching the seams and hemming, using fraystop and lining helps. Every handsewn project will be different, and is a step to learning how to become a good seamstress. Everyone makes mistakes, it just takes practice.
http://www.burdastyle.com/search?key=lolita+skirt#
When I have time, I hope to make a small guide on handsewing lolita clothing.
I have plenty of lolita clothing designs. I would love to make my own line of plus sized lolita clothing, sizes 10 to 22, or at least lolita patterns. The problem is, I'm a game artist now. I feel like I have to devote all my time to achieving this goal. I love both, but I don't know which I love more: crafting lolita items or drawing for video games. I don't like choosing... I guess this subject is for another time.
Stay frilly y'all.
-MNR
Friday, April 15, 2011
Drafting Patterns
I tend to draft my own patterns because I can never find ones I want, or ones that fit me. This goes for mostly sewing and knitting. With crochet, I'm still pretty inexperienced.
Not to say that I'm amazing in either of the three. My mother taught me the basics of sewing when I was little, and I had a sewing kit and fooled around making little purses and dolls. Then I stopped for several years. And when I was in my late teens and early 20s, (which I am now, being 20,) I have picked it up again, and have started patterns.
From my last post, I discovered that I found lolita when I was 13 or 14, but only liked drawing it. I feel now that I may like sewing it then drawing it. But I still love designing lolita themes and dresses.
With knitting it was the same way. I learned from my mother. I must have gotten bored with only knitting scarves, and how long it took, because I put them away until a couple of years ago as well. I then learned from youtube how to knit, purl, increase, decrease, knit socks, knit in the round, seam, and other fancy terms, that would allow me make actual garments. Now I have a ravelry account, and am working on designing my own patterns.
I find it funny that my mother wants me to teach her how to knit and crochet. Especially since SHE'S THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME. I didn't know that's something you could forget. There are no hard feelings, it's just that that is somewhat strange/funny.
I've only recently started drafting my own knit and sewing patterns. Most of what I know I know from online searches and Youtube. Unfortunately I don't go to the library enough. The problem is, for most of the hours I am out of class, the public library is closed. It's such a shame.
I've learned to draft my own lolita patterns. I usually look at actual dresses, see what shapes the pieces are constructed in, draw them onto paper, and take my measurements. I also got a very rudimentary pattern for a jsk from egl on Livejournal. I just need to learn tailoring, which I've been getting much better at, being large-breasted. Bust darts are your friends, boys and girls. Burdastyle has helped me learn tailoring.
I'm working on a new steampunk corset styled tank top with ruffles. When I can, I will put up my preliminary picture and pattern. It will be my bust size range, with is 44-48. Right now, or soon, I have to finish up a paper and send it to my professor...
It will be knit in caron simply soft and is designed to be worn with a lolita skirt. I think lolita clothes should have more of a DIY aspect, and knitting and sewing your own outfits is moving into an untapped market.
I have some dreams about this.
I've always wanted to create a line of lolita clothing for American sized women and men. Making a line of lolita knitting patterns may be a great way to start. Victorians knit and did other crafting quite a bit. What can be more lolita than crafting your own clothing and accessories?
Themes I'm interested in: Aristocrat, regency, rococo, romantic era, medieval, ethnic, industrial, steampunk, pirate, sailor, fantasy, and to some small extent, visual kei.
How I learned:
Knitting:
Crocheting:
Sewing lolita:
-MNR
Not to say that I'm amazing in either of the three. My mother taught me the basics of sewing when I was little, and I had a sewing kit and fooled around making little purses and dolls. Then I stopped for several years. And when I was in my late teens and early 20s, (which I am now, being 20,) I have picked it up again, and have started patterns.
From my last post, I discovered that I found lolita when I was 13 or 14, but only liked drawing it. I feel now that I may like sewing it then drawing it. But I still love designing lolita themes and dresses.
With knitting it was the same way. I learned from my mother. I must have gotten bored with only knitting scarves, and how long it took, because I put them away until a couple of years ago as well. I then learned from youtube how to knit, purl, increase, decrease, knit socks, knit in the round, seam, and other fancy terms, that would allow me make actual garments. Now I have a ravelry account, and am working on designing my own patterns.
I find it funny that my mother wants me to teach her how to knit and crochet. Especially since SHE'S THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME. I didn't know that's something you could forget. There are no hard feelings, it's just that that is somewhat strange/funny.
I've only recently started drafting my own knit and sewing patterns. Most of what I know I know from online searches and Youtube. Unfortunately I don't go to the library enough. The problem is, for most of the hours I am out of class, the public library is closed. It's such a shame.
I've learned to draft my own lolita patterns. I usually look at actual dresses, see what shapes the pieces are constructed in, draw them onto paper, and take my measurements. I also got a very rudimentary pattern for a jsk from egl on Livejournal. I just need to learn tailoring, which I've been getting much better at, being large-breasted. Bust darts are your friends, boys and girls. Burdastyle has helped me learn tailoring.
I'm working on a new steampunk corset styled tank top with ruffles. When I can, I will put up my preliminary picture and pattern. It will be my bust size range, with is 44-48. Right now, or soon, I have to finish up a paper and send it to my professor...
It will be knit in caron simply soft and is designed to be worn with a lolita skirt. I think lolita clothes should have more of a DIY aspect, and knitting and sewing your own outfits is moving into an untapped market.
I have some dreams about this.
I've always wanted to create a line of lolita clothing for American sized women and men. Making a line of lolita knitting patterns may be a great way to start. Victorians knit and did other crafting quite a bit. What can be more lolita than crafting your own clothing and accessories?
Themes I'm interested in: Aristocrat, regency, rococo, romantic era, medieval, ethnic, industrial, steampunk, pirate, sailor, fantasy, and to some small extent, visual kei.
How I learned:
Knitting:
Crocheting:
Sewing lolita:
-MNR
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Thing Related Depression.
I fell into a depression that has lasted about a week, is why I haven't blogged much or done much.
It is caused by a variety of things. It started when I got my dresses from bodyline. It was exacerbated by difficulties with friends lately. I can never say when a depression ends. I don't want to jinx it.
Due to some unfortunate events in my life, not too horrible, but bad enough, years ago I acquired clinical depression, stress and anxiety disorders. I don't know, but I mihgt also randomly be hallucinating.
A lot of what I have to be depressed about lately is my appearance. I'm definitely not the standard american, or what the media wants the standard american to look like, or what guys at my school want the standard girl to look like. I wish I was but oh well. No matter how much I diet, or starve myself, or liposuck, I will never be a size 2. And that should be ok.
What does the stereotypical lolita look like? Almost across the board: long blonde hair, baby blue eyes, pale complexion with rosy cheeks, looking about 16-18 years of age, skinny and of a "perfect" height and weight.
Sometimes, it will be a brunette female, with the same features.
Even lolita designers, stars, and lolita laypersons show their ideal image of the lolita as being such. (I've read GL bibles, watched videos, read japanese designer's descriptions, seen drawings on brand sites, seen the kind of models used, and see what japanese women do to their faces, hair and skin to make them look more European/white.)
Do you ever see anything different? Do you ever see clothing modeled by a tall lolita, or a black lolita, or a larger lolita, or a hispanic lolita, or a slightly older lolita (like 28 or something)? It annoys me and torments me. This is because the designers are making clothes for the smaller people. It's not one's fault for being skinny or tall. It may be one's fault for being overweight. But it's also not one's fault for being different.
It is not going to change the fact that I am a lolita. It's just that... oftentimes I don't feel part of the culture. Many times, I want to escape from the culture, or I need a break.
I thought Bodyline was different. That they catered to a wider variety of lolitas. The dresses I purchased said that they fit busts between 34in and 44in. In the US, this means that the article of clothing fits these sizes comfortably. Or that's how I read it. What it actually meant was that the maximum possible stretch was 44in. Also, the dress comes up 4 inches above my knee. The other dress, I was able to fit one breast into. ONE. I'm so frustrated. Some of it is poor choice on my part. Nevertheless I felt (feel) like an ugly giantess, or like the ugly duckling, because I see other lolitas wearing them and looking so cute. Usually me feeling ugly is associated with me being alone and unloved, not being pretty to other people, and not fitting in in social situations.
I'm going to alter the dresses. The second one will need a LOT of work in the chest, and will need a new underskirt.
The shoes I purchased, if anything, were a little big. I was amazed. So there are these 4' 11 japanese lolita running around with size 10 feet? I expected the shoes to be the same proportion. But I saw shoes there that were too big for me! I"m a little dumbfounded.
I know I need to lose weight, I've been told by everyone, I've been looked down on, criticized, harassed, yelled at, teased, ignored, excluded, overlooked, etc, one of the reasons being for my weight. I don't need to be reminded everywhere I turn by the media too. One of the reasons I can't stand the media. Portray unrealistic images of women. Being plus sized and pretty CAN occur at the same time. Being plus sized and healthy CAN occur at the same time. I've eaten all sorts of salads and vegetables, drinking water, for the past two weeks. (Been drinking water for longer, exercising for longer) Cutting back on meats, portion sizes, doing light exercise when I have time. And then in front of me in the dining hall there are these skinnier girls (typical model size) that are eating several plates of food, among them pizza, fries and burgers. Is it fair to call me unhealthy because of the way I look? Is it fair to call me ugly because I have extra lbs? My metabolism is extremely slow, and I try when I can. A lot of plus sized lolitas do. And then there are skinnier lolitas that eat whatever they want, sit around all day and fit into the smallest brand sizes. Are they healthy because they look slim?
No one is saying that fat is healthy. No one is saying that skinny is healthy. What is correct is to say that healthy is healthy. Whether that is small or large.
You hear the ugly things people say on Lolita secrets and some forums. Downright unladylike and bitchy and inhumane things. These are the sort of things that become rumors and become 'true' in the social spheres, even if they aren't. Like all people that can't fit into brand being fat and ugly, and needing to get out of lolita. Or that men can't dress in lolita, or that lesbians can't be lolita, or that you're too old for lolita (when in fact 30 years old is still young.)
Those people can be ignored. But when people start believing them and imitating them.... it's just horrible. ( One of the comments about 'fat girls' was that they stretch out brand clothes and therefore are bad people. If you're stretching out brand clothing, that means that you're a pretty small American woman, I've realized. How can you call a size 8 american fat??? But it's no-one's business what you do to your clothes.)
I'm depressed because this is the norm, and I am very alone in my geographic location. It seems like many of the males at my school are looking for females of a lighter complexion, straighter, longer hair, shorter, and less heavy. I am what I am.
I'm 5'8". I didn't know I was tall for an american female or world wide female until I looked it up on wikipedia.
I just think.... everyone of any size deserves to feel pretty and be pretty. Since smaller sizes are catered to all the time, and at especially low prices (places like bodyline and f+f), I think that it's time that larger sizes are catered to.
If I had time, I would create my own lolita fashion line for plus sized females (and maybe regular sized males), maybe from sizes 14 to 24. I would make dresses and skirts for ladies with large breasts and posteriors, women between 5' 5" and 6' or maybe apple shaped individuals. I design tons and tons of clothes already. It's just that... my first priority is getting my degree and entering into the game design field. There were larger victorian women, with large breasts and bottoms. (They had intense corsets, so no large stomachs.) They didn't just go naked. :/ Brands make victorian inspired clothing. So why no clothes for larger females?
I had to get this off my chest. There is no one to say these things, so the converse of each of these statements is considered true. It is not the japanese brands' faults for making clothes for small japanese women. It will be their fault if they don't start realizing that people outside of japan like that fashion, have money, and want to purchase their clothes.
I would love to start exclusively sewing my own lolita clothes, especially since brand clothes will never cater to females with 46DD/E breasts. However, I do not have a sewing machine, so handsewing takes months. And that is when I don't have projects. I can draft my own patterns to proficiency. Drafting and tailoring for other people, however, is a monumental feat.
I am trying to drag myself out of this depression. It is a hard thing to do alone, or even with a therapist and meds.
Sorry for the depressing post. Again, getting things off of my chest. Hopefully I'm in a mood to dress lolita again. I really try....
-MNR
It is caused by a variety of things. It started when I got my dresses from bodyline. It was exacerbated by difficulties with friends lately. I can never say when a depression ends. I don't want to jinx it.
Due to some unfortunate events in my life, not too horrible, but bad enough, years ago I acquired clinical depression, stress and anxiety disorders. I don't know, but I mihgt also randomly be hallucinating.
A lot of what I have to be depressed about lately is my appearance. I'm definitely not the standard american, or what the media wants the standard american to look like, or what guys at my school want the standard girl to look like. I wish I was but oh well. No matter how much I diet, or starve myself, or liposuck, I will never be a size 2. And that should be ok.
What does the stereotypical lolita look like? Almost across the board: long blonde hair, baby blue eyes, pale complexion with rosy cheeks, looking about 16-18 years of age, skinny and of a "perfect" height and weight.
Sometimes, it will be a brunette female, with the same features.
Even lolita designers, stars, and lolita laypersons show their ideal image of the lolita as being such. (I've read GL bibles, watched videos, read japanese designer's descriptions, seen drawings on brand sites, seen the kind of models used, and see what japanese women do to their faces, hair and skin to make them look more European/white.)
Do you ever see anything different? Do you ever see clothing modeled by a tall lolita, or a black lolita, or a larger lolita, or a hispanic lolita, or a slightly older lolita (like 28 or something)? It annoys me and torments me. This is because the designers are making clothes for the smaller people. It's not one's fault for being skinny or tall. It may be one's fault for being overweight. But it's also not one's fault for being different.
It is not going to change the fact that I am a lolita. It's just that... oftentimes I don't feel part of the culture. Many times, I want to escape from the culture, or I need a break.
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| Dress#1, too short. |
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| Dress#2, chest didn't fit. |
I thought Bodyline was different. That they catered to a wider variety of lolitas. The dresses I purchased said that they fit busts between 34in and 44in. In the US, this means that the article of clothing fits these sizes comfortably. Or that's how I read it. What it actually meant was that the maximum possible stretch was 44in. Also, the dress comes up 4 inches above my knee. The other dress, I was able to fit one breast into. ONE. I'm so frustrated. Some of it is poor choice on my part. Nevertheless I felt (feel) like an ugly giantess, or like the ugly duckling, because I see other lolitas wearing them and looking so cute. Usually me feeling ugly is associated with me being alone and unloved, not being pretty to other people, and not fitting in in social situations.
I'm going to alter the dresses. The second one will need a LOT of work in the chest, and will need a new underskirt.
The shoes I purchased, if anything, were a little big. I was amazed. So there are these 4' 11 japanese lolita running around with size 10 feet? I expected the shoes to be the same proportion. But I saw shoes there that were too big for me! I"m a little dumbfounded.
I know I need to lose weight, I've been told by everyone, I've been looked down on, criticized, harassed, yelled at, teased, ignored, excluded, overlooked, etc, one of the reasons being for my weight. I don't need to be reminded everywhere I turn by the media too. One of the reasons I can't stand the media. Portray unrealistic images of women. Being plus sized and pretty CAN occur at the same time. Being plus sized and healthy CAN occur at the same time. I've eaten all sorts of salads and vegetables, drinking water, for the past two weeks. (Been drinking water for longer, exercising for longer) Cutting back on meats, portion sizes, doing light exercise when I have time. And then in front of me in the dining hall there are these skinnier girls (typical model size) that are eating several plates of food, among them pizza, fries and burgers. Is it fair to call me unhealthy because of the way I look? Is it fair to call me ugly because I have extra lbs? My metabolism is extremely slow, and I try when I can. A lot of plus sized lolitas do. And then there are skinnier lolitas that eat whatever they want, sit around all day and fit into the smallest brand sizes. Are they healthy because they look slim?
No one is saying that fat is healthy. No one is saying that skinny is healthy. What is correct is to say that healthy is healthy. Whether that is small or large.
You hear the ugly things people say on Lolita secrets and some forums. Downright unladylike and bitchy and inhumane things. These are the sort of things that become rumors and become 'true' in the social spheres, even if they aren't. Like all people that can't fit into brand being fat and ugly, and needing to get out of lolita. Or that men can't dress in lolita, or that lesbians can't be lolita, or that you're too old for lolita (when in fact 30 years old is still young.)
Those people can be ignored. But when people start believing them and imitating them.... it's just horrible. ( One of the comments about 'fat girls' was that they stretch out brand clothes and therefore are bad people. If you're stretching out brand clothing, that means that you're a pretty small American woman, I've realized. How can you call a size 8 american fat??? But it's no-one's business what you do to your clothes.)
I'm depressed because this is the norm, and I am very alone in my geographic location. It seems like many of the males at my school are looking for females of a lighter complexion, straighter, longer hair, shorter, and less heavy. I am what I am.
I'm 5'8". I didn't know I was tall for an american female or world wide female until I looked it up on wikipedia.
I just think.... everyone of any size deserves to feel pretty and be pretty. Since smaller sizes are catered to all the time, and at especially low prices (places like bodyline and f+f), I think that it's time that larger sizes are catered to.
If I had time, I would create my own lolita fashion line for plus sized females (and maybe regular sized males), maybe from sizes 14 to 24. I would make dresses and skirts for ladies with large breasts and posteriors, women between 5' 5" and 6' or maybe apple shaped individuals. I design tons and tons of clothes already. It's just that... my first priority is getting my degree and entering into the game design field. There were larger victorian women, with large breasts and bottoms. (They had intense corsets, so no large stomachs.) They didn't just go naked. :/ Brands make victorian inspired clothing. So why no clothes for larger females?
I had to get this off my chest. There is no one to say these things, so the converse of each of these statements is considered true. It is not the japanese brands' faults for making clothes for small japanese women. It will be their fault if they don't start realizing that people outside of japan like that fashion, have money, and want to purchase their clothes.
I would love to start exclusively sewing my own lolita clothes, especially since brand clothes will never cater to females with 46DD/E breasts. However, I do not have a sewing machine, so handsewing takes months. And that is when I don't have projects. I can draft my own patterns to proficiency. Drafting and tailoring for other people, however, is a monumental feat.
I am trying to drag myself out of this depression. It is a hard thing to do alone, or even with a therapist and meds.
Sorry for the depressing post. Again, getting things off of my chest. Hopefully I'm in a mood to dress lolita again. I really try....
-MNR
Friday, March 18, 2011
Back from NYC, and lolita brand.
I just came back from NYC. Fun vacation.
However, there were no lolita stores...
We did manage to go to Tokyo Rebel. Nothing there fit me of course, but it was nice looking at the brand clothing. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. I had spent all day walking around and my feet hurt and I had to walk 12+ blocks to get there so I was limping by the time I got there. I was a little disappointed the shop was so small and out of the way. But space is at a premium in NYC, so it's not their fault. Also, it was the only location and they were just starting up. They had a lot of putumayo, innocent world, victorian maiden, mary magdelene, and misc visual kei clothing. My friends stayed in the back waiting, because they met me there and got there before me.
I love innocent world and victorian maiden! Mary magdelene too.
I got a mini decoden kit for 8 dollars. Has cute strawberries. Dunno what I'm going to deco with it. It was 10% off. Maybe I can deco my compact mirror.
I also got an Innocent World tote bag. My first bit of 'brand'. I finally have something to wear to class with my lolita clothes. It doesn't have pockets inside, is why. Was $39 dollars. I had purchased so much in NYC I figured why not.
I wish I had a job so I could pay for my own brand clothing. But right now, the best I can do is to be supported by my mother, and to sew my own lolita clothes. I do feel bad and guilty because lolita is an expensive style, but I look so good!
I tried to wear lolita in NYC. The skirt I made was very frustrating. I plan to tear off the lace and put it on something else. It frustrated me so much because it was too short and lopsided.
However, the dress I purchased from Milanoo looked nice. I got several complements from random people. It wasn't lined though. I am too scared to wash it for fear it should dissolve. Milanoo has some issues in customer service and quality. I wouldn't buy from them again until they start getting professional. My experience wasn't bad.
http://community.livejournal.com/egl/14484905.html
NYC is such the fashion capital. Everyone walking around on the main streets amongst the fancy boutiques looked so expensive and snazzy. Confident and slim. Such a manipulation of the masses using images I've never seen the likes of. NYC is so intriguing, so fascinating. So pure on the surface, yet stylishly sinful. They desperately need some lolita stores. I mean, it is unacceptable that there are none in the northeast. NONE.
If I knew how to sew and was dedicated enough, I would make a line of plus sized lolita dresses. That takes a great deal of work that I'm not sure I want to do.
I wanted to buy some lolita clothes in NYC. I ended up buying a bag and some leather shoes that have nothing to do with lolita. They're uber cute though.
I want to buy these from bodyline to make up the difference.
BTW I'm amazed. Innocent world has been having some relatively affordable sales as of late. Sales on stuff that would be able to fit me! http://innocent-w.jp/shopping/094715/index_e.html
Well, it would need slight tailoring for the waist. But it's beautiful... I would wear it year round.
I'm still not ready to pay $167 dollars for a dress, even if that's the sale price. Usually JSKs are $200 and upwards. So that's pretty good!
I think they should have added embroidery to the bottom of the skirt, to complete the total fade. But it's still cool tho.
However, there were no lolita stores...
We did manage to go to Tokyo Rebel. Nothing there fit me of course, but it was nice looking at the brand clothing. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. I had spent all day walking around and my feet hurt and I had to walk 12+ blocks to get there so I was limping by the time I got there. I was a little disappointed the shop was so small and out of the way. But space is at a premium in NYC, so it's not their fault. Also, it was the only location and they were just starting up. They had a lot of putumayo, innocent world, victorian maiden, mary magdelene, and misc visual kei clothing. My friends stayed in the back waiting, because they met me there and got there before me.
I love innocent world and victorian maiden! Mary magdelene too.
I got a mini decoden kit for 8 dollars. Has cute strawberries. Dunno what I'm going to deco with it. It was 10% off. Maybe I can deco my compact mirror.
I also got an Innocent World tote bag. My first bit of 'brand'. I finally have something to wear to class with my lolita clothes. It doesn't have pockets inside, is why. Was $39 dollars. I had purchased so much in NYC I figured why not.
I wish I had a job so I could pay for my own brand clothing. But right now, the best I can do is to be supported by my mother, and to sew my own lolita clothes. I do feel bad and guilty because lolita is an expensive style, but I look so good!
I tried to wear lolita in NYC. The skirt I made was very frustrating. I plan to tear off the lace and put it on something else. It frustrated me so much because it was too short and lopsided.
However, the dress I purchased from Milanoo looked nice. I got several complements from random people. It wasn't lined though. I am too scared to wash it for fear it should dissolve. Milanoo has some issues in customer service and quality. I wouldn't buy from them again until they start getting professional. My experience wasn't bad.
http://community.livejournal.com/egl/14484905.html
NYC is such the fashion capital. Everyone walking around on the main streets amongst the fancy boutiques looked so expensive and snazzy. Confident and slim. Such a manipulation of the masses using images I've never seen the likes of. NYC is so intriguing, so fascinating. So pure on the surface, yet stylishly sinful. They desperately need some lolita stores. I mean, it is unacceptable that there are none in the northeast. NONE.
If I knew how to sew and was dedicated enough, I would make a line of plus sized lolita dresses. That takes a great deal of work that I'm not sure I want to do.
I wanted to buy some lolita clothes in NYC. I ended up buying a bag and some leather shoes that have nothing to do with lolita. They're uber cute though.
I want to buy these from bodyline to make up the difference.
BTW I'm amazed. Innocent world has been having some relatively affordable sales as of late. Sales on stuff that would be able to fit me! http://innocent-w.jp/shopping/094715/index_e.html
Well, it would need slight tailoring for the waist. But it's beautiful... I would wear it year round.
I'm still not ready to pay $167 dollars for a dress, even if that's the sale price. Usually JSKs are $200 and upwards. So that's pretty good!
I think they should have added embroidery to the bottom of the skirt, to complete the total fade. But it's still cool tho.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Sewing by Hand
Heeey look here's a tutorial for a half elastic waist skirt.
Half Elasticised Waist
I wish I had a sewing machine. I sew all my clothes by hand because my mother's sewing machine crapped out in the middle of a project! Apparently it needs a tune up. And I move back and forth between college and home. Mother is apparently looking for one for me that is small and portable. That would be nice. Sewing by hand takes days, even weeks for a detailed skirt. I can barely do proper ruffling. It kills me. KILLS me. I should post pictures of my skirts. Especially the one where the sewing machine crapped out on me.
Hand sewing does get easier at least. I am grateful for that.
I will try to edit this post by the end of the day with the pictures. It was my first lolita skirt.
On another note, I have been searching the lolita penpal community on livejournal for a penpal. I think that's a great hobby for the lolita! It sounds so fun. I am attracted to it because I don't know anyone else who dresses the style (in person). It would be great to have someone who not only likes lolita and dresses it, but someone with similar interests like anime, manga, art, math, physics, language and philosophy, video games... whatever.
I can start composing that when I have more time tho, I guess. It takes time searching through that whole listing.
http://community.livejournal.com/lolita_pen_pals
In my class, multimedia century, we are spending a day learning about Surrealism. It is so hilarious, and its propositions ridiculous. I have considered myself a surrealist painter, but I suppose I don't really know what that means.... Needs more research!
Half Elasticised Waist
I wish I had a sewing machine. I sew all my clothes by hand because my mother's sewing machine crapped out in the middle of a project! Apparently it needs a tune up. And I move back and forth between college and home. Mother is apparently looking for one for me that is small and portable. That would be nice. Sewing by hand takes days, even weeks for a detailed skirt. I can barely do proper ruffling. It kills me. KILLS me. I should post pictures of my skirts. Especially the one where the sewing machine crapped out on me.
Hand sewing does get easier at least. I am grateful for that.
I will try to edit this post by the end of the day with the pictures. It was my first lolita skirt.
On another note, I have been searching the lolita penpal community on livejournal for a penpal. I think that's a great hobby for the lolita! It sounds so fun. I am attracted to it because I don't know anyone else who dresses the style (in person). It would be great to have someone who not only likes lolita and dresses it, but someone with similar interests like anime, manga, art, math, physics, language and philosophy, video games... whatever.
I can start composing that when I have more time tho, I guess. It takes time searching through that whole listing.
http://community.livejournal.com/lolita_pen_pals
In my class, multimedia century, we are spending a day learning about Surrealism. It is so hilarious, and its propositions ridiculous. I have considered myself a surrealist painter, but I suppose I don't really know what that means.... Needs more research!
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